Gone Girl
by Goldielochs
Summary: Remember in New Moon when Bella learned that Victoria was after her, and she did nothing? Bella's one character trait is that she would irrationally put herself in harms way if she thought others were in danger. Her waiting around in her home never sat well with me. This story is an alternative path Bella takes and it picks up in the meadow once the wolves chase off Laurent.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **AN: Something always bothered me in New Moon. When Bella finds out that Victoria is after her and won't stop until she's dead, Bella just goes home and does nothing. The one character trait Bella has is that she's the girl that will irrationally put herself in harms way when others are in danger, right?**

 _This story picks up at the meadow scene in New Moon after Laurent and Bella discuss Victoria._

* * *

Gone Girl

* * *

Laurent had fear in his eyes. Five seconds ago I should have been terrified, but the Edward in my head kept me from panicking. Instead of paying attention to the hungry vampire closing the distance between us, I focused on the way my Edward growled and spoke protectively in my head. This wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it wouldn't hurt. Maybe Laurent would be kind enough to snap my neck first. Then the pain would stop. All of the pain. Edward's fierce growling rose.

That's what took me so long to notice the creatures. I thought their growls were in my head. These weren't the bears Forks was worried about. These were wolves. Huge. Giant. Wolves.

I watched what unfolded like a dream. Nothing made sense. I knew I wasn't reacting properly. I never did react properly to these types of things. Laurent looked scared. He backed up. The vampire was afraid of these wolves. The wolves formed around me, pointing towards him with their teeth bared and snarling. They didn't seem to notice I was here, except for the rusty colored one. Huge brown eyes that looked oddly emotional scanned me up and down as if making sure I was okay. I wanted to laugh. What a silly thought.

I didn't expect Laurent to run. I didn't expect the wolves to chase him. I thought I was a much more appealing meal, but I didn't have time to question it.

The meadow was empty once more. I was alone in my thoughts again, no Edward to console me, to direct me. The panic started to set in.

Victoria was hunting me. All those people that had died in the woods in the last few months didn't die from bear attacks. I knew deep inside, they didn't die because of those wolves. They were killed by Laurent and Victoria. They died because of me.

My feet carried me out of the meadow. I lept over logs and rocks. Limbs and twigs scratched at me, but I couldn't feel anything.

All my fault. This was all my fault.

Laurent, whom may still be alive, may still want to kill me. He found me at the wrong time, wrong place. Maybe he would try to find me again, maybe not. But I wasn't worried about him.

Victoria wanted revenge. She didn't get the memo, I guess. She didn't understand that I was no longer Edward's and that my death wouldn't be the stab in the back she wanted.

I ran through the woods. I'm not sure how I had the endurance for it, perhaps it was adrenaline. I didn't slow down. The forest, once a place of refuge, now a dangerous maze.

I knew what I had to do. Victoria wanted to even the score. Mate for mate. She just wanted me. Edward killed James. Victoria kills me. Once she had me, she would leave. The town could be safe again. I couldn't stay here any longer.

I had stubbornly remained in Forks. I didn't realize how much danger I put my home in because I didn't want to forget the spaces Edward and I shared.

I fell down and the branch I caught myself on, cut into my skin. I stared at the blood pooling. An idea began to hatch. I touched everything I could with my blood.

It's time. I had to leave now, but I had to do it in a way that would keep Charlie safe. A way that would lead Victoria away. I resigned myself to my fate. I embraced the fact that not long from now, I would be dead.

I jumped into my red truck. After an hour of only listening to my heavy breathing, the loud engine startled me. The road zipped away, like the tires were pulling the world passed me. I couldn't drive fast enough. The truck groaned with the effort.

The sky was milky white in the late afternoon. I had a few hours before dark.

Charlie wasn't home when I pulled into the driveway. I depended on that. I thought about my dad. What was our last conversation? How long would it take him to notice? Who would he call first when he started to panic? When would they pronounce me dead? I shoved the thought away. I couldn't get distracted. I couldn't shake my resolve. Charlie was the most at risk. Even if I just simply left, Victoria could use him to make me come out, like James did in Arizona.

No. I had to do this right. What was it Edward said . . . a clean break? I grimaced at the irony of it all.

I flung my backpack on my bed and emptied its school work contents. I grabbed at some clothes, my wallet, my passport. I looked in the mirror and was shocked at the gaunt but determined face that stared back. For months, the edges of my face were lost, but this girl in the mirror had a strong resolve. Eyes hardened. Mouth set. Chin up.

I hesitated on the porch. This was it. I couldn't linger here. I had to go.

"Goodbye." I said to my home and closed the door. _Bella, move!_ I forced the tears that started to well down. I couldn't cry. Not yet.

Now the tricky part. My relationship with the Blacks had been a game of "how long can we ignore you." I hoped they still played the game. I was so desperate yesterday to see Jake. He was my lifeline. The only thing I that kept me together was Jacob. Now?

Cut the lifeline. I had to sink in order to save the ship.

I drove to La Push, not stopping to talk Quil on the sidewalk. Not stopping to knock on Billy's door. He wouldn't answer even if I did. I backed my truck up to the garage and hopped out. I crossed my fingers and prayed that Jacob would be off with his new friends. The garage door slung open and I grinned at the empty space. Good.

It took me twenty minutes but I finally got my bike loaded onto the back of my truck. It was harder than I anticipated. I pocketed the key and closed the garage behind me.

I spied the curtains pull back as I got back in my car. Billy. I didn't stop to look. I didn't want him to see my wild new determination. It could ruin everything. I pulled my hood over my my head.

 _Clean break._

I drove back to the entrance of the trail. Funny how things change. Before when I drove up to this spot only a few hours ago, I was feeling down and lost and just needed to do something. Now as I parked my car, I felt like my life finally had meaning. I could still be useful.

They would find evidence of me in the wood. Perhaps tomorrow or two days from now, police would be trekking through, trying to find my body. After all the hikers deaths, the conclusion would be obvious. Perhaps they would say I got lost. It had happened before after all. When the Cullens left, Charlie had half the town and the boys from the reservation looking for me when I got lost in the forest.

It wouldn't be so hard to believe that it would happen again. Maybe Charlie would blame Jake. Maybe he would blame Jake for leaving me, like the Cullens had, and running off was a repeating behavior.

After several days of searching, they would assume that my body was dragged off. I wonder how long they would look before they would host my funeral. How long would they look for my body before they declared me dead?

For everyone's sake I hoped it was soon. The sooner I was pronounced dead, the sooner the town could be safe again. They could forget me. I would fade away in their memories. A blip on their small lives.

I turned the engine off, but I still heard a roar. Was it coming from the woods? I shook off the paranoia. Laurent was still at large. No longer afraid of the clutch, I started my bike from the bed of my truck and launched down. I braced for the impact of hitting pavement, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The shock absorber carried most of the blow. I wheeled around and steadied my breath.

"Goodbye." I whispered to my truck. It had gotten me through the best and worst of my life. It looked like a relic parked on the curb. A relic of my time in Forks. My red tank had to be left behind. The truck's connection to me would lead the police, would lead my dad, to believe what I needed them to.

I had never ridden my bike this long. I had never ridden the bike alone. I made my way out of town. My hoodie was pulled over my face, in case I passed anyone on the road. They couldn't be allowed to recognize me. I died in the forest. If someone saw me riding a motorcycle out of town, that would destroy the scene I needed everyone to believe.

I wasn't scared. I wasn't even sad. My emotions were muted under the severity of the situation. I gasped, however, when I found myself stopped on the middle of the road outside city limits. It had been awhile since I traveled this road. I knew the right hand turn up ahead. I could find the entrance to that gravel road in my sleep.

I breathed heavily. I had one more goodbye to say.

The house in the woods. The Cullen's house.

I stood on the porch for two minutes. Why was I here? I needed to leave. But my legs felt like heavy weights when I tried to move.

I tried to rationalize why I needed to go in. The way they always treated money, they probably left large amounts of cash around. That could come in handy. That's what I told myself at least.

I tried to kick down the door, which was a foolish plan. I ended up just cramping my foot. I sighed and remembered the key they kept under the windowsill. Perhaps. . .

 _Still here._ I shook my head in disbelief. What else was still here?

Nearly everything. It was empty though. There was no life in this house anymore. I squashed down a wave of pain. Not now. Cry later. Run now. Cry later.

I ran up the stairs. I couldn't bring myself to walk into Edward's room. Instead I ducked into Alice's. I narrowed my focus, blocking out everything except what I was looking for.

Like I expected, but still couldn't believe, a roll of 100's were kept in a drawer. I pocketed the cash and ran back downstairs. On my way, I saw the phone line in the kitchen. Hesitantly, I walked over. There were a list of names and numbers they frequently called.

My eyes were transfixed on one of the names. I felt my breath escape like I had been punched in the gut. I couldn't breath.

Denali.

Alaska.

Denali, Alaska. The other clan. Tanya and her sisters. They lived in Alaska.

I started shaking. I didn't know if they were there. I didn't know if anyone was there.

I just planned on riding far away from Forks and leading Victoria to me so she could do what she pleases far away from everyone I loved.

I felt hope creep in and it hurt to open up like that, like a wound. Hope. Plan B began to form.

I grabbed my map and marked what roads I needed to take. I would ride through Canada. I wouldn't stop. I just hoped my bike was up for it. If it broke down, then that was fine too. Plan A didn't change.

Plan A was run and wait for Victoria to find me.

I leaped off the porch and headed back to my motorcycle. An idea occurred to me, and I pulled out my pocket knife. Without looking, or breathing, I sliced my palm open and my hand quickly filled with blood. I pressed my palms onto a white column. When I picked my hand back up, I stared at my bloody hand print.

"Come find me." I whispered.

I was turning back to my motorcycle when I saw the garage. I licked my lips, wondering exactly how haphazardly the Cullens had left their home.

Curiosity overtook me. I stumbled over to the garage, pressing my bleeding palm into my shirt. I didn't exactly think that one through. Still, it didn't hurt.

I still knew the code to get in. The buttons beeped as I punched in the four numbers on the outside attachment. The white door raised smoothly up into the ceiling.

"Holy crow." I gasped. I wasn't sure what I expected. I knew the car I _didn't_ want to see. It might destroy me completely if the Volvo was left behind. His volvo. The car that saved me in the alley, the car we bared our souls in. Not now. I suppressed the deluge of memories.

The car I stared at wasn't the Volvo. I knew the vampire family didn't see possessions like others did and they did leave in a hurry, but I didn't expect them to leave behind an Aston Martin. I didn't know what model it was, but it was sleek, and curvy, and shiny and holy cow.

I walked in slowly. What are the chances that the keys would be . . .

You've got to be kidding me. A pair of heavy expensive keys hung off the wall.

"Holy crow." I whispered. I felt myself get excited. I was never a car person, especially fast cars, but this would make a much better vehicle to make a getaway in. Like in the movies.

The leather felt good as I sat down in the driver's seat. I turned the key and the car began purring. So different from my truck. Everything was different now.

While it was still on, I moved my bike into the garage. It felt weird to just leave it in the open. Not that anyone would look for me here. Maybe they would. Maybe they would think I went crazy and locked myself up in the Cullens old house.

I didn't really care what they thought anymore. I was dead. I was a dead man walking. Whether it was now or in a few days when inevitably Victoria would catch up to me.

I grabbed my knife again and slashed into my other palm. The pain only barely registered. I spelled out with my own blood, "Victoria" on the side of the garage. I wanted her to see it. I wanted her to know that I knew she was looking for me. I wanted her to know where she could find me.

* * *

 **AN: Should I continue?**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **\- Rosalie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **AN: Thank you for reading everybody!  
**

 **\- Rosalie**

Chapter 2

* * *

I flung my backpack into the sleek sports car. The leather smelled brand new. Everything was pristine and clean. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. Dirt and sweat tangled my hair. Cuts and mud were flecked onto my face. Sweat and blood stained my disheveled clothes. I didn't belong in this car. This car belonged to a wall street king that liked to corrupt government officials for fun and wear snazzy business suits while doing so. I looked so out of place sitting in the driver's seat. I was utterly human. I flipped the rear view mirror back into position. There are worse monsters in the world than wall street.

The car purred but I made it roar while I backed out angrily. The vehicle whip tailed around. I wasn't used to something obeying my control so easily. I closed the garage door with a button on the visor. This was it. This was my getaway car. I had my get away things. Now, all I had to do was get away. I paused on the gas.

Out of the corner of my eye I spied a shape in the forest that made my heart sink and my stomach drop. A large russet colored wolf broke through the trees lining the edge of the property. I stared at it breathlessly. It was the same one in the forest. How many huge werewolves could there be? It was alive? That didn't make any sense. Laurent should have destroyed it.

And it was here. It was staring at me, with huge unfathomable brown eyes. It's large paw stepped closer.

I might have screamed while I kicked the car into drive. I couldn't tell because of the deafening loud engine growling beneath me.

The gravel road was kicked up and I sprayed tiny pebbles behind me as I screeched back onto the highway. I could be wrong, but I swear I heard a loud agonized howling. I shook my head and pushed the image of the wolves out of my head. I pushed everything out of my head. Everything I was leaving behind like the dust behind my tires.

I wasn't sure how fast I was going. I didn't want to look at the dashboard.

Eventually fear would catch up to me and I didn't want my fear of speeding cars to slow me down, literally.

The trees blurred on either side of me. I felt like I was racing through a hedge maze. What would I find in the center of this one? I knew the answer. Victoria. My foot pressed even hard on the pedal.

My hands gripped the wheel tight. It was dark before I tried to move them out of their position but they were cramped up and stiff. My right hand shook as I peeled it off the wheel to flick on the head lights. How long had I been holding my breath?

I felt the sigh escape me like someone had punched me in the gut. It hit me hard and left me dragging breath I inhaled was shaky and unsteady. I couldn't get enough oxygen. I was nearly convulsing. My body was finally catching up to what I had done.

Was it time now? Was this the time to cry?

I didn't feel the stinging wetness in my eyes. I just felt hollow and dry. My body rocked and shook uncontrollably but I couldn't find the emotion to match it. My head was clear and focused. I felt awake for the first time in. . . awhile. No, I felt awake since the first time Edward left me.

Edward. Edward. Edward. I forced myself to think his name. Maybe that would help the tears come now. I wanted to cry. I wanted my brain to keep up with the heavy sadness my body was responding to. I had been avoiding his name and the memories. There were things I just didn't let myself do, but I unlocked the gate. I wanted to be overtaken by the flood waters.

Seeing Edward for the first time in the lunchroom. Edward as he put himself between me and Tyler's van. Edward as he pulled his stupid Volvo into the alley to save me. Edward as he crouched beside my broken and bleeding body, saving me again.

From what? From becoming a vampire? So he didn't have to live with me anymore? Is that why he didn't let James's venom change me?

He told me he was saving me. I believed him. I thought he was my saviour.

I laughed and the sound echoed hauntingly in the quiet car.

Then where was he now? He wasn't in my head now. His warning growl didn't echo in my ear as it had in the meadow or when I rode my bike for the first time. Where was my savior now?

I realized bitterly, I never needed rescuing. My fate was determined long ago. Edward was never my saviour. He was only toying with fate.

I'm the one thing in life I can control. If I needed rescuing, I had to do it myself.

I blinked at the red lights up ahead. I hadn't realized I had slowed down to match their pace.

Border control. Shit. I reached inside my bag in the passenger seat and pulled out my passport. There weren't any stamps. The pages were completely blank. I had never gone anywhere like I promised my mom I would. My mom. Would someone have called her? Was she sitting by the phone anxiously or had she got the the airport and was waiting to board a plane?

I bit my lip and pulled my sleeves up. The tops of them were stained with the blood that ran down from my hands. I looked at them. The edges on my skin where the knife had cut were clean, but were caked with my dried blood. There were some gloves in my bag and I slipped them on before pulling up to the agent.

I ran a hand through my hair. This may not work. I was so foolish. I had gotten all this way and because I was in such a hurry I didn't do anything to my appearance. I looked crazy and in trouble. Not the type of person you let into your country.

"Good evening." The agent called. "Mind rolling down your window, miss?"

I sighed and pressed the button. I couldn't back out now.

"What's your business in Canada?" He asked politely, eyeing inside the car with his flashlight.

"I'm visiting family." I lied. "They live in Vancouver."

"Oh really?" He raised his eyebrows. "It's awfully late to be visiting family."

"There's been a death." I muttered under my breath. Could he see my wild light? Perhaps he would translate that into grief.

"Terribly sorry, ma'am. How long will you be here."

"Three to four days. They haven't set the funeral date yet." I took a moment to be amazed at how well I could control my voice.

The agent nodded. "Sorry. Can I see your passport and driver's license?" I handed him the proper documents. When he took them to his booth I had a moment of panic.

This was the wrong move. Shit. I didn't think this through. They would record my passport being registered to get into Canada. The town back home, no doubt looking for me now, might find this record.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

They would know I was alive. I felt breathless. This was so sloppy. Maybe if I had time I would have come up with a better plan. Still, my blood was in the forest, my only (known) vehicle was outside the trail. Whatever happened to me, it would remain in such a clouded mystery. Perhaps they would give up trying to piece together the puzzle of my disappearance.

Maybe Jacob would come forward. He was the only one that knew about the bike. He would know it was missing. I gritted my teeth. Maybe he didn't care what happened to me, like Edward didn't care.

The agent was already walking back with my passport. I couldn't get out of this. It was already done.

He leaned down. "Okay, honey. You're all set. Sorry for the loss." I nodded wordlessly and took the documents from his hand. I rolled up my window as the bar across the road raised up allowing me entrance.

There was no going back.

* * *

To the south, Victoria twirled her long red locks between her fingers. Her lips pulled back in a sinister grin as she stared at the message left for her in blood. V. I. C. T. O. R. I. A. The bitch's blood was cold now and it had dribbled down the white garage walls. Bella had run from the only thing keeping her alive. A wolf howled in the distance and Victoria vanished into the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.**

Gone Girl

Chapter 3

* * *

Charlie stared at the wall across from his desk. The coffee Linda, the intake receptionist, set by his hand grew cold as the minutes ticked by. 12 hours had passed since he first started to worry about his daughter's whereabouts. He hadn't slept. His eyes were glued open. After hours of searching in the dark wet rain of the night, his deputy told him to go home and get rest.

Charlie couldn't rest. It was his fault. He wasn't around enough. He left her alone too much. He should have insisted that she go live with her mother again. He should have forced her to go. He was supposed to be the parent after all. It would have been good for her to get out of this depressing little town. Jacksonville was sunny and warm. Bella used to like those things.

He prayed that she didn't run into the forest.

When Bella went missing the first time. No, the second time. She headed into the woods. It had taken hours and finally one of the reservation boys had found her. It was a horrible night. A horrible week. Ever since then the months have been empty. Everything felt wrong.

The similarities were not lost on him. Didn't Bella and Jacob get into a fight?

When Charlie had pulled up to the house and seen Bella's car missing, he knew something bad happened. She didn't tell him she would be out. She was always very considerate that way.

He had telephoned Billy straight away.

"Now isn't a good time." Billy answered the phone tersely.

"It's me, Billy." Charlie spoke and his tone was anxious. "Is Bella there?"

"No." Billy hesitated on the other end. "Well, she did park her car in front of the garage for about 10 or 20 minutes but she left again. She didn't come in. She hasn't spoken to us in a week. You know that. Is. . . is something wrong?"

"She's not here. There's no messages. This isn't like her. If she's not there. . . " Charlie left off.

"Perhaps she's with her other friends."

"She doesn't have other friends, Billy." Charlie lashed out.

"I will," Billy breathed. "I'll check with Jake. Maybe. . . maybe he's seen something."

As soon as he hung up, he called around first to the Stanley's, then the Newton's. Ben's parents. Lauren's parents. Tyler. Eric. Ashley.

No one had seen her.

Charlie crashed the phone on the wall and he began to panic. It was just like before. Only last time, she had left a note saying she was taking a hike. The time before that she told him where she was driving off to, to Phoenix. Bella was a runner. How could he not see that? She was just like her mom.

He should have done something then. What that something was, Charlie didn't know. The guilt of inaction made him immobile all the same.

The woods. Bella went into the woods.

Maybe he didn't warn her enough about the dangers in the forest. Maybe she took to the woods again. Did she not understand how many people had died in the attacks? How many times did he tell her of the dangers.

Or maybe she went in there because of the dangers.

He did worry that after _the family_ left, his daughter might be suicidal. Maybe she was hoping to run into those bears.

The phone rang on his desk and Charlie jumped with a start. The now cold coffee rippled from the movement.

"It's Steve." Linda called from up front.

Charlie grabbed the phone tightly to keep his hand from shaking. "This is Charlie." He greeted. His voice was dry and tired.

"Charlie, some kids saw Bella's truck at the trailhead on 14."

"The truck." Charlie nodded. "Is she there?" He knew she wouldn't be. If they had found her, Steve would have lead with that. Still he hoped.

"No. The car is locked. Looks like it's been sitting here since at least yesterday afternoon. The pavement is dry underneath.

"The #14 trailhead?" Charlie knew what had happened. Bella had gone into the woods.

* * *

Jacob nearly broke the door in. "Whoops. Man, still not used to that. Oh, hey dad." He closed the door behind him a little more softly. "It's been a day. You know that male we've been chasing. Get this. We got him. It was flippin awesome." He paused staring at his father. The old man was wringing his hands and his face was shrouded in worry. "Pop. Don't worry. None of us got a scratch. We were all working in sync. Man, it was great. I wish you could hav-"

"Charlie called." Billy interjected.

"Oh." Jacob huffed. "Again? Listen, you're the one that said I had to stay away."

"Have you seen Bella?"

That stopped Jacob up short. She was there. A sad mousy girl in the meadow. The bloodsucker ten feet away.

Jacob gulped and ran a finger through his hair. He was caught off guard once again that his head had been buzzed. "Um, well. There was a reason we were finally able to get him."

Billy's deep sage eyes pierced into Jacob's.

"She was there. She was in the woods. The bloodsucker was about to attack but he didn't see us coming." Then Jacob continued hurriedly. "She's okay though. We got there in time and chased him off. She got back to her truck. I checked after we got done with the bloodsucker. She was really scared. Of us or the bloodsucker I couldn't really tell." He shrugged. The way she had looked at him, him as a big monster. Was it fear in her eyes? Or was it absolution? He shook it off. "Why?"

"Bella's missing."

"What?" Jacob began shaking.

"I saw her come by. She went into the garage but she didn't stay. She isn't home and Charlie is worried."

Jacob started ripping his clothes off again as he ran out the door. He phased instantly outside. He was rolling with regret and worry.

 _-Woah, dude. I thought you were gonna get some rest._ \- Embry thought. He was still sitting in front of the fire and watching the last shreds of the blood sucker burn to a crisp. The rest of the pack had phased back and were getting some well deserved sleep as their reward. _-Are you okay?-_

 _-Bella's missing. I'm such an idiot. I saw her truck was gone and I thought. . . I thought she made it home. I should have followed her. I should have left you guys to make sure she made it back.-_

 _-That's not good. Do you think maybe she and that bloodsucker were friends? They did seem to know each other. Maybe we spooked her?-_

 _-Honestly, dude. She didn't look that afraid. She looked kind of resolute about something. I think he said something. I don't know, dude. I don't know. All I know is that Bella is missing and she saw some really weird shit today and she has no one to talk to and I'm supposed to be her friend. But I can't talk to her. Shit. Shit. Shit.-_

 _-I'll help you look.-_ Embry promised. There was nothing but forest floor and heavy breathing for a few minutes.

Embry checked the trailhead again to start following her scent.

 _-Uh, dude. You said her truck was gone. It's still here.-_

The red truck was parked in the same exact spot it had been earlier in the day. Jacob was floored. _-It wasn't here. After we chopped up that vampire, I came back and she had gone.-_

- _Uh, dude. There's a lot of her blood around here. It's kind of creepy. It's like a trail.-_

Jacob howled into the sky.

A stream of obscenities unleashed in his mind. _-It's those damn Cullens. They messed with her brain or something. She wouldn't have been in that meadow if it wasn't for them. She wouldn't be sad if it wasn't for them. I wouldn't have to ignore her if it wasn't for them.-_

An idea popped into his head.

 _-The bikes. Oh my god. The bikes.-_

He started running towards the highway as fast as he could. He ducked under branches, jumped over logs, and punched through bushes. Eventually he was close enough to the road but far enough away that no one would see him.

Was that the sound of a dirt bike? Maybe it was a trick. He was only hearing what he wanted to.

What was going on?

 _-Embry? Have you found anything?-_

 _-Nada. Sorry.-_

It was an hour till twilight and Jacob heard the dirt bike again. This time he swore he could hear it. It was. . . it was coming from the Cullen's property.

 _-Dude, don't do it. Don't go there.-_

 _-It's empty.-_ Jacob retorted.

 _-I don't know. There's some bad mojo around that place. Stay away.-_

 _-But she's here. Embry. Look. She's here.-_

He saw the house first and then the small frame shifted by the wall of the opened garage. He could see the bike propped up against the wall inside. Bella moved away and his heart dropped. Blood was smeared onto the side of the garage.

 _-Woah. That's nasty.-_ Embry commented.

Jacob didn't move. All he could do was watch as Bella ducked back into the garage. Something roared inside. Jacob moved closer. In the next moment an Aston Martin peeled into view and spun around.

It stopped suddenly. Bella had locked eyes onto Jacob. They gazed at each other for a moment. Neither knowing each other's intentions. Something was different. Bella was different. She didn't look in pain anymore. She didn't look lost anymore. She wasn't the sad girl that tried to smile while they worked on the bike now tossed aside. She wasn't the mousy scared girl in the meadow.

She was gone. He heard the car roar again. Bella screamed hysterically and the car whisked her out of sight.

 _-Are you going to chase after her?-_ Embry asked softly.

 _-No. No, Embry. She's gone-_ Jacob howled again, racked with grief. _-She's gone. She has been for some time. I just. . . I just didn't know it. I didn't want to believe it.-_

Later after Sam had gotten sleep, he and Jacob came back to the Bloodsucker's abandoned house. Bella was officially declared missing now. Sam was telling Jacob not to say anything until they could figure out what happened.

"They'll be combing the woods for her in the morning. But she's not in the woods." Jacob rubbed his head.

The other one. The red haired female had been nearby. Perhaps she had smelled the blood. . . or maybe she smelled the old remnants of a vampire coven. Of course she was gone now. They could never get close to her. She evaded and out maneuvered them every single time.

Sam stepped toward the letters written in blood. "Who's Victoria?"

* * *

The vase shattered in her hands. The shards scattered across the floor. The sound was almost deafening against the silence. She wasn't looking for it. She knew not to try.

A scarred hand reached out in comfort. He could feel her panic. "What's wrong?"

"Bella." Alice turned towards Jasper with horror in her golden eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

* * *

Gone Girl

Chapter 4

* * *

The shadows curved across my field of vision at irregular intervals. Flashing light and the loud "tickity-tickity-tickity" followed. I panicked every time it happened even though I knew what it was. I had parked the car under a bypass to get some rest and close my eyes. However, every time someone drove over the bridge my eyes shot open and my heart raced out of my chest.

"She's here. She's coming." My body would sound the alarm in my head, adrenaline would kick in, but instead of triggering a fight or flight response, I would only freeze in place. I grew catatonic. I should have moved away from that damned spot but my brain fogged up with exhaustion. The thought of moving a pinky tired me out.

I would drift off momentarily, still clutching the steering wheel, then the shadows would pass over my face. "Tickity-tickity-tickity." Fear gripped my heart in its clutches, glueing my eyes open.

Now I was afraid. Finally.

I'm not sure how long I sat there repeating the hellish cycle of sleep pulling me under the water and fear snatching me out a moment later. Over and over again.

Eventually the sun rose and the shadows vanished. I gulped a huge breath of cold air. God, was I holding my breath? My hands were purple and unfamiliar. I unwrapped my fingers around the key in my hand. Indents of the key were left in my palm. Dark blood oozed out. I'm not sure if it was from my knife the other day or from gripping the key too tightly against the steering wheel.

I twisted the key in the ignition. Instead of the smooth purr from the engine, I heard a long scratch, like fingernails on chalkboard.

I swiveled my head towards the sound. It was coming from the passenger side door.

I shook my head. I was imagining things. Nothing was there. I was just startled from all the things that go bump in the night. But I couldn't stop the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I turned the key in the ignition again. I heard something click, and then nothing.

No no no no.

The drawn out scratching sound continued only this time I couldn't hear where it was coming from. I glanced warily over to the passenger side. Nothing.

I dared to look to my left out my window while holding my breath. Just concrete and some sparse grass. A small relief.

Nails on chalkboard rang in my head now. It was coming from all sides.

"It's just in my head. It's just in my head." I chanted and closed my eyes, but I was scared of the darkness there behind my eyelids. I snapped my eyes open. The scratching sound was wrapping around the car and rattling in my brain.

I felt something move behind me and my breath caught in my throat.

Slowly, as if time were being funneled through molasses, I turned my head to the back seat. My hair gently shifted around my neck and my breath came out shallow and oddly loud. My heart thudded in my chest. My eyes wouldn't move so I had to turn my whole body around.

I couldn't stop now. I had to look.

I screamed with all the air in my lungs. No sound was made.

There on the back window, written in blood, "Bella."

Blood dribbled down, skewing the letters. A single drop landed onto the back head rests. She wrote this from inside the car.

Victoria had been in the car.

I felt bile move up my throat. My left hand gripped the car door and I swung it open.

I was outside and I couldn't remember moving to get there.

I looked around me then yelled up to the sky. "Just do it!" My voice cracked, my throat felt like flaky paper.

Why? Why was I still alive? I was right there, petrified in the driver's seat. She could have ended it there.

No no no no.

I turned back to the car and my heart stopped. The car was gone.

I didn't even hear it leave. I was so disoriented. Sleep deprivation was clouding my senses. I didn't even know where I was. What was happening? I felt woozy.

My knees collapsed and I fell forward onto my hands. My right arm touched something cold. I glanced up.

A small red light blinked at me. It was a camera.

No. Not just a camera. THE camera. The same one that James stuck in my face in the ballet studio. The camera that recorded my idiotic attempt at saving my mother. The camera that James used to anger my boyfriend so he could have a real fight.

I fumbled in my pocket for my knife. I thought this stupid thing had been smashed. I couldn't fight a vampire. I couldn't stop my death, but I was going to stab this fucking camcorder as if it was the last thing I did.

It would be, probably.

I finally gripped the knife in my pocket. It felt strange in my hand.

The scratching continued. Louder. Closer.

No no no no.

Not until I stopped the camcorder. It blinked at me, mockingly.

I growled and flipped the knife out of my pocket. It skidded across the concrete.

I lunged after it. The pocket knife bounced between my hands. I tried to open the blade, but the hinges weren't working.

God. Damn. Open. Up. My hands gripped the edges on the blade. I tried to rip it open, but it wouldn't budge.

The red light continued to blink. I growled and rose shakily to my feet. I smashed my foot on the device. It just rolled away. I picked it up and threw it against the concrete. The camera just bounced. The eye of it somehow was always pointed in my direction. I grabbed it and held it up to my face. I turned it over to find the off button.

It had to be. . . no maybe it was right here. . .no. No. No. No.

My brain was too heavy. I had to be missing it. It was maybe under this wing? No.

I don't understand. Where was the the on/off button? I needed it to stop blinking. I needed it to stop recording.

I didn't understand how I was missing it. I gave up and tried twisted the shutter off. I gripped around the device and choked it, as if wringing its neck. My palms hurt with the effort. They were still so tender but I bit through the pain.

Die. Die. Die.

Tears sprang from my eyes from frustration. Oh my god. I sank to my knees. I was crying. I was finally crying. I almost wanted to laugh, but it hurt too much.

Water streamed down my face and I didn't try to stop it. I leaned into it. I didn't care.

I couldn't cry for all the normal things, but this dumb wretched unbreakable camera broke the spell.

Hot tears rolled over my nose and chin. I began sobbing uncontrollably. I was so damn tired. I was so terrified. It all came out in sticky tears.

I didn't care if the light still blinked. I didn't care about whatever was causing the scratching sound. My chest heaved up and down and I started wailing like I used to when I was 11 and I got the flu. I remember leaning against the cold tile floor of my mothers bathroom and moaning because I felt like death and I wanted someone to know it.

I felt like death now.

No one was around to hear me, but I couldn't stop my pleas.

I held the camcorder up to my face. My hands were wet with the tears I kept battling away and I had to concentrate to keep it in my grip.

James had wanted me to scream and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

I didn't care now what Victoria wanted. It didn't matter. I would give it to her. Did she want me to scream. I'd scream. Did she want me to make a rambling apology. I would do it.

All I could do right now was wail and moan and cry. It felt good to exhaust the tears out of my system.

From far away, barely audible above my cries, the scratching sound started up again.

"Run." Edward's familiar voice growled in my mind. I jumped. I had forgotten about the protective voice. I thought I had outrun that too. "Bella. Run." His tone was urgent. The voice sounded so real. So close.

I blinked away the tears, half expecting to see him in front of me.

Of course, he wasn't there. But another message in blood was.

"RUN." The letters spelled out on the underpass. The scratching ended. Now there was a knocking sound. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. A loud knocking. Like hard fists on rock.

"Go now." My head Edward roared.

Without even thinking about it, my legs carried me away. It felt like I was moving through pudding. Why was I moving so slowly? I was bad at running, sure, but my feet could barely move. Go faster. GO faster. I screamed to myself.

Where was I running to? I don't know.

Why was I running? I don't know.

I made it past the first empty building after what seemed like too long.

Was I being chased? If Victoria was truly after me, I couldn't outrun her. What was I running from? If I were to die, I wanted it to be quick.

I stopped trying to run and that's when I bolted faster. I felt a presence close in on me. I closed my eyes and waited.

Laughter echoed around me. The pitch was high and nasally. Unmistakably Victoria. I sunk down to the ground.

Grass was on either side of me. Not a concrete block or building in sight. Just an empty clearing. Oddly familiar. How? How did I get here?

I had to be drugged. There was something in the muffins.

What muffins? I hadn't eating anything for a day or two.

Oh god. I started itching, feeling frantic.

All I could hear was my heart thudding loudly in my chest. It echoed in my ear, so loudly. I was too tired to go on.

I let my eyes close. I was scared of the darkness behind them but I let it pull me under. Take me. Take me. Take me.

I felt like I had been plunged in icy water. I held my breath, sure of it. Goosebumps raised on my skin and I felt myself sink.

No. I wasn't sinking in water. I was falling.

My gut wrenched and my body jolted.

I blinked my eyes awake and gasped out in panic. I had been asleep. "Tickity-tickity-tickity." The sound of tires on the overpass. No, no, no, no.

It was a dream? No. It wasn't, I was sure of it. Wind whipped my hair across my face.

"Tickity-tickity-tickity."

It wasn't coming from above me. I felt the vibrations through me from my feet. I was on the bridge. I was standing on the bridge now. Cars were zooming past me. How? How did I get here?

My limbs were sore and my neck was tight like I got a bad night's sleep. The sun was shining brightly now. I still felt so cold. Like ice.

My arms felt like rubber. I glanced down at my hands. Something was off. Oh god. The camcorder was in my hand. The red light blinked.

Reality started to slip. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or awake. My body didn't feel like my own.

I was standing by the edge. My feet were inches away. I looked down 50 feet below me into deep inviting water. I tried to remember if water was here before, but my brain dragged me through molasses as I tried to pull on memories.

I could jump.

Yes, I could jump.

I gazed at the eye of the camera. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.

Is this what she wanted?

"Tickity-tickity-tickity."

Did she want me to jump and film it?

The Edward in my head started to growl. "Bella, don't."

I stepped closer to the edge. A few pebbles rolled out from my foot and dropped into the water.

"Bella, step back." God, I loved his voice. Did he really sound like that? So velvety and smooth. A musical instrument like no other. I felt my lips crack as I turned them up into a small grin.

I nudged closer and the growl grew louder. Was I really awake?

What did that even mean anymore?

Awake. Asleep. Alive or Dead. I felt like I was riding the line between them all. Schrodingers cat. I was the cat. Wouldn't it be better if the cat just killed itself? Instead of living with uncertainty.

My toes peeked over the edge. The water was raging underneath. Maybe I wouldn't drown. Maybe I could wake up. Yes. Yes. I could wake up. I was sure of it. I needed to jump. It was the only thing. Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP.

Or maybe I would die.

What's the difference?

I took a deep breath and held my arms up to the side.

I leaned forward and let gravity tip me over. My body fell gracefully downwards as if in slow motion.

Oh, I wasn't waking up. This wasn't the jolt I needed. No, I was plummeting towards rushing water like a feather. The Edward in my head was oddly silent. Instead a loud nasally cackling enveloped my ears. It was the last thing I heard as my body slammed into the blue.

My head hit the dashboard.

"Oh." I gasped.

"Tickity-tickity-tickity." Cars overhead. I was in the driver's seat again under the bypass. Or maybe I never left.

"NONONONONO." I cried out and shook my head. I screamed hysterically.

The key in my hand, I jammed it into the ignition and miraculously the car started.

Fuck it. I gunned down on the gas. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from that awful wretched bridge. I speed back onto the ramp for the highway.

I let out a deep sigh. Ok. I was on the road. I could do this. Just don't fall asleep again. I couldn't get pulled under. I had to stay awake. I tried to hold reality up like a bed sheet. It kept slipping but I was on the road now. I was running again.

I checked my rearview mirror and time stopped around me.

B.E.L.L.A. Written in blood on my back window.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.**

* * *

 **AN: So some of you may hate me. I've already accepted it.**

 **What can I say? I like leaving things up to interpretation. Make of this, what you will.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **\- Rosalie.**

* * *

Gone Girl

Chapter 5

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My foot slammed on the gas as if the faster I went, the further away I could get away from the blood written message in my window. I knew it was still there but I couldn't look. Worse. What if it wasn't there? What if blood wasn't in my window. What if I was stuck under the bridge?

My arms were covered with scratch marks I had made myself. I felt itchy, like my skin didn't fit.

My skull started pounding with a headache. My eyes squinted in the sunlight. Everything hurt. I'm insane. That's it. I've gone insane. How long have I gone without sleep? My hands, which looked real now, gripped the steering wheel hard enough to make my knuckles go white.

No, no. I was here. _I'm real. I'm thinking thoughts. I think therefore I am, right?_

I couldn't look in my rear view mirror anymore, afraid of what I would find. I couldn't look behind me. I had to keep going forward.

Like everything in my life, the past was the past and I couldn't go back. I couldn't look back.

I couldn't hold on to any resentment, or sadness, or anguish. Of all the shit that's happened to me, I left it. The only thing I couldn't quite let go of was Edward. Just the idea of Edward. Everytime I tried to place Edward behind me, he kept popping up by my side. Damn it. Why won't he leave me alone? He promised a clean break, but he lied. Again.

Fine. Edward stays then. I succumbed and let myself think of everything I forbade myself from thinking about. At least Edward distracted me from my crumbling mental stability. Remember it, Bella. Remember his bronze hair shining in the sunlight. The way his brow furrowed when he was trying to read your mind. The first time you touched his hand and a shock resonated through your arm. These were very selfish thoughts. A dying girl's wish.

I still couldn't glance back in the mirror. I couldn't turn around. I couldn't even breathe out of my nose, in case I could smell it.

Which is why I didn't see the cop behind me until he turned on his warning siren. I jumped in my seat and nearly crashed into the median.

Sure enough, blue and red lights flashed in my side mirror.

I pulled over reluctantly. I was speeding of course. I didn't know how fast I was going, but it was well over the speed limit. He would give me a ticket. He would check my drivers license. No. I couldn't let that happen.

Despite my slipping reality and the pounding migraine in my head, I quickly thought up an action plan.

I pulled over to the side obediently and rolled down my window. I kept my hands at the steering wheel like my father taught me.

The Canadian officer sauntered over slowly. I didn't look, I kept my gaze out the front window.

I could here his crunching footsteps from his boots. His shadow passed over my face.

"Hey there, do you know how fast you were going-Oh, Miss? Are you okay?" Could he see my scratched up hands. Could he see the wild fire in my eyes, the bags under them. Could he see the blood dripping in the back seat?

I shook my head truthfully. I'm not okay. I'm very much the opposite of okay.

Quietly, my lips opened and before I could think I begged, "Help me."

He didn't move. He didn't say anything in response. I turned to look at him, so he could see the terror in my eyes. But the light from outside blinded me and I had to close them. It caused me too much pain in my head. "Help me. Please." I said through clenched teeth.

His eyes were shielded behind reflective sunglasses. Maybe he didn't want to deal with crazy today.

"I'm trying to go to Alaska. Am I headed the right way?"

I covered my eyes with my left hand so I could look out the window again through the blistering light. The light shimmered like it was reflecting off water or diamonds. No. No it shimmered like the reflection off of a vampire.

A sparkling hand wrapped around the officer's neck, almost lovingly. Snap.

That's when the officer slumped forward, a small wheezing gasp escaped his lips. His head banged against my door frame with a loud crunch. His glasses fell off and his eyes were out of focus. Dead. The officer was dead.

A nasally giggle echoed around me. Victoria vanished back into the shadows. I just barely saw her red hair before it whipped out of sight.

Anger coursed through me.

"Enough!" I screamed. "If you want to kill me just do it. Just do it. I've had enough. Please."

I leaned my head on the steering wheel. Death didn't sound so bad. It would be a sweet release.

"Oh, Isabella." Victoria's feminine voice spoke beside me. I glanced up and long slender legs were crossed in the passenger seat. Her torso was angled towards me, her hands crossed over her chest casually. Her wild fire hair tangled down around her. Red lips smiled and I could see the fresh blood stain on her sharpened teeth. "Are you tired of running?" Her voice was filled with fake concern. "You've made it so much farther than I thought you would have. I've had a hard time keeping up, but you're worth it." She cocked her head to the side. She had such a plain face for a vampire. She must have been horribly ugly as a human to only come out looking barely decent as a vampire. Her hand gently grazed my cheeks and I was pinned underneath it. "I'll go anywhere for you. But I can't say the same for your sweet sweet Edward, can I?"

I felt weak. My hands, finally released the grip on the steering wheel. There was no point now in trying.

"Don't you dare say his name." I hissed.

She giggled and I wanted to vomit. "Where is he, Isabella? Your knight in shining armour?"

I shook my head. "Don't."

"What's wrong?" Her tone was mockingly sweet. Victoria's cold hand still caressed my cheek. It was horrible and made me feel queasy. "Has he abandoned you?"

"Don't." I winced.

Her laugh was booming and my brain throbbed with pain. "You think he has forgotten you, don't you?" She sighed happily and withdrew her hand from my face. I breathed out in relief.

"Did you like my game last night? I enjoyed it." She pulled out something behind her back. A small camera. It was real. It was fucking real.

I blinked and shook my head trying to sort out the truth of what had happened with this new evidence.

"Oh, this is my favorite part." Victoria hummed while looking at the display.

She angled it towards me. Her pale cold hands held the device so gracefully, like Vanna White showcasing something valuable.

I watched myself cry and wail and moan. Big tears streamed down my face and into my clothes. I looked like I was on the verge of death. The recording went dark for a moment. Then I was standing on a bridge. I took a deep breath and leaned into the empty air. The camera jumbled then as I fell. The camera bounced off a rock. In the distance you could see Victoria catch my limp body and then tow me back into the Aston Martin.

Victoria smiled widely, showing too much teeth. "You were too easy."

I jumped. I jumped off of a bridge. That was real? I should have died.

"Why?" I muttered through broken lips. "Why are you doing this?"

"Oh, Isabella." She cooed. "I'm alone now because of you." Her legs pulled up underneath her so she was sitting in a crouch. "Do you know what it's like to have your mate ripped out of your life?"

Her question was hypothetical. But I nodded. Tears budded from the corners of my eyes, uninvited.

Victoria cocked her head. Her hand reached out and touched my face again. Her gleaming red eyes appraised me.

For a moment I thought she would understand. That maybe she felt sorry for me.

"Good." Victoria hissed and then she shoved my face against the side of the car. There was a crack in my ear and then ringing. Something wet trickled down my neck.

I felt her hand on mine. Pop. My pinky bent backwards. I screamed and reflectively tried to retreat my hand back, but she held it so firmly in her grasp that my thumb popped out of it's socket. Agony overwhelmed me. My body bucked defensively but I knew it wouldn't help.

She twisted my wrist around until it cracked, bones breaking. The feeling ricocheted up my arm.

"Oh, there's so many bones in the human body." Victoria purred. "But don't worry, Isabella." Her hand trailed up the side of my arm. Her thumb pushed in and my forearm snapped beneath the pressure. "I'll only break the ones you don't need to survive."

I gasped out breathlessly. I didn't have the strength to scream. The pain was overwhelming and it only grew stronger. I couldn't take much more of the slow but constant burst of pain that leaked into each other.

"K-kill me." I whispered through clenched teeth. Half of my body was rendered useless. My other side was shaking. "P-please." I begged.

"Oh, I love that you're begging for death, Isabella." She clapped enthusiastically like one does when their dog does something cute. "That's music to my ears. But I'm afraid I can't, dear."

My eyes roamed over to her wildly. What did she mean 'she can't?' That's what I've been preparing for. To die. That's what she wanted wasn't it? She bit her red lips which were turned up into a sickening grin.

"Oh, come now, Isabella. Surely, you understand. It's only fair really." She climbed on top of me. Her bare feet straddled my thighs. "Why should you get to die? Dying is easy." She pressed on my knee cap with her pinky toe and I heard the crunch before the wave of pain registered in my brain. My head rolled back and vomit rose up into my mouth. "Yes. Living is harder." Her tongue licked my face from my chin to my temple. I shivered uncontrollably, pained and disgusted.

Her hand gently twisted my other wrist to face her. I flinched and braced for the snap. It didn't come.

"Ah." She purred while gently caressing my half-moon shaped scar. "That's the work of my James, isn't it?"

She pulled my arm up to her lips and kissed along the bite mark. The last thing James's lips touched were my wrists before he was destroyed. He was forever implanted into my skin. Victoria pressed her lips onto the mark as if his kiss was behind my skin. She moaned and I felt her lips pull back around her teeth. My chest seized.

I could barely feel it amongst the raging pain from all the bones that had been snapped, crushed, or otherwise broken. It was the tiniest prick. Maybe I had just imagined it.

She let go of my hand and slowly climbed off of me. Her face wasn't sweet anymore. There was no mocking smile.

"Like I said." Victoria muttered through a tight jaw. "Living is harder."

My wrist began to burn. It was such a small pain. But like a papercut, it was unignorable. Fire. Burning. Fire.

"No!" I yelled. I tried to grasp my wrist, but my other hand just flopped uselessly in the air. Pain echoed up and down my arm.

My jaw tightened and I waited for Victoria to continue. I warily glanced beside me, but she was gone.

I was wrong. I was all wrong. Victoria didn't want to kill me. No. This whole time I had been preparing myself to die. No. No. I was wrong. She wanted me to be like her. She wanted me to suffer forever the way she was going to. Her venom burned further down my wrist.

I panicked. I had felt this pain before. Pretty soon it would drown out the others. It would engulf me in fire.

I shook with despair. I just wanted to die. I just wanted it all to be over, but Victoria wouldn't let me off that easy.

God, I just wanted one night's sleep. I was so tired and exhausted. I just wanted to close my eyes. I wanted to close my eyes and never open them. Victoria had put an end to that. I would never sleep again. I was content with just laying down and dying but no. The venom wouldn't let me sleep. The venom wouldn't let me die, no matter how little there was or how slowly it moved.

I cried out angrily. I was fucking pissed.

No. No. She wasn't going to do this to me. I was going to fight. Everyone has been so preoccupied with keeping me alive. Just so I could suffer. Fuck that.

With my good hand, I turned the key and the car roared to life. I pulled the gear into drive and slammed on the gas.

I had done it once. I could do it again. I spied a bridge up ahead and gunned towards it.

Venom only spread if my heart was still beating. I had to make sure mine stopped.

There was a soft thud on the hood of the vehicle.

"Bella!" Edward growled. It sounded different from the other times when he warned me in my head. It sounded muffled and far away. "Bella, slow down!"

Edward had always tried to keep me safe. That's why I couldn't listen anymore. I had already made my mind up. I was going to drive off the bridge.

I leaned my head forward on the steering wheel. The pain was dragging me under, the venom's fire pulled me up. Blood dripped from my head. I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open. It hurt too much. I kept my foot on the gas pedal.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I whispered into the empty car. It was the first time I said his name in months. "I couldn't keep my promise."

Ice wrapped around my body. Did I already hit the water? I didn't feel the empty air beneath the tires. My gut didn't drop with the fall.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Edward whispered into my good ear. The tiny hairs there tingled with the breath. I frowned. It felt so real. Maybe this was my reward. Maybe my mind, tricking me again, decided to give me a nice illusion to die with.

"It'll be quicker this way." I could feel his lips on my neck. This hallucination felt more real than anything had in the past three days. "I'm sorry." Cold teeth pierced into my skin.

My eyes shot open and I gazed into bronze hair. Edward's bronze hair. Edward.

"Is this real?" I whispered breathlessly. Fire starting in my neck.

A cold hand brushed my face. "I'm afraid it is." Edward's smooth velvety voice answered back.

For a moment, I almost believed him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **AN: This gets trippy. Just an FYI.  
**

* * *

 **Gone Girl  
**

Chapter 6

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"Do you believe in God, Edward?" I asked in a white room. There were no ceiling or floors. There may be walls, but I didn't really care too much. There was no here or there. It was just me and the ghost of Edward I created in my mind. Nothing else existed here.

"What sort of question is that?" He replied. His voice sounded far away. He laid on his back with his hands under his head. His legs crossed in the air.

"If vampires are created from humans. And humans were evolved from monkeys. Then who created the monkeys?"

"So you think vampires evolved from humans?" He turned onto his stomach. He picked at a flower that wasn't there before. When he dropped it, it went back into nothingness. Back into the white.

"I asked you a pretty simple question."

Edward inhaled slowly. "I think that's pretty complicated. I'm not sure. It's hard to imagine God smiling down on his creation and looking at creatures like me. But I believe he created you."

I sat up and stared at my hands. There was something weird about them. The lines weren't in the right places.

"What about you, Victoria?" I rolled over and stared at a porcelain doll. Black buttons were glued over it's red glass eyes. Red threads tangled down from it's head to it's feet. "Do you believe in God?"

I watched the doll Victoria's unmoving form with mild interest. I wasn't sure why it was here. I didn't like it. Then I sighed and leaned back again with Edward.

"I don't believe in God." I said with a quiet breath. "But I believe in hell."

I woke up.

I didn't think I could wake up. I didn't want to. Wherever my mind went, something dragged me out. My eyes peeled open and I blinked away the crusts that had formed. Salty crusts. But I couldn't see anything.

Then I realized what jump started my system again.

Pain. Not just any pain. Hellfire. I wasn't in hell. Hell was inside of me. I twisted and the world twisted with me.

I kicked my feet, but there was no resistance. Pain like a thousand needles rose in my knee. I thrashed again, involuntarily, but it only made matters worse. I was suspended in something I couldn't see. Something I couldn't feel. For a moment, I thought I was back in the white space, but nothing worked here like it did in the white room.

I remembered my lungs and took in a deep breath. But I didn't breath in oxygen. I breathed in fire. I screamed and the fire was released out of me, like a dragon. Maybe I'm a dragon now, I thought idly while my body richoteched with pain. _Are dragons real?_ I thought about what I would burn down if I were a dragon. It helped, but only for a second.

I breathed in again and the fire flooded through me once more. I leaned into it. Taking bigger breaths and letting the fire slowly crawl up and down my airways. I thought, perhaps at some point it would burn right through them and there would be nothing left to breath through. Eventually my lungs would turn to ash and I could stop trying to pull in oxygen. I could go back to that white space.

I shut my eyes. There was nothing to see here anyway. I closed my mouth, but I couldn't feel my lips. I held the fire inside my lungs and let it burn.

"Do you want to play a game?" The Victoria doll popped off the black buttons glued to its eyes. We were back in the white space. I say we, though I know it's only me. That didn't stop me from seeing them. We were sitting on a blanket. It was maroon and plaid. Edward held out a tea cup for me and I thanked him while Victoria poured invisible tea into it.

"Oh, thanks." I pretended to take a sip. "What kind of game?"

Victoria's size kept changing. Sometimes she could fit on the saucer plate, other times she took up the whole blanket. Her feet were wearing shiny plastic mary janes. She would tap them together while she leaned back on her disfigured hands.

"If you can guess what number I'm thinking, you win."

"That sounds boring." Edward said while taking a sip of blood from the tea cup.

"If you guess wrong," Victoria continued. "I get your hands."

"My what?" I blinked.

"Your hands." Victoria repeated. "More tea?" She asked politely. "I'll grab you some." She took my cup and held it under an open vein in the neck of a police officer with dead eyes. He was slumped over on the corner of the blanket, like the fourth guest. The cup dropped out of Victoria's hand and blood spilled all over the blanket. "Oh damn. Clumsy me. See? I wouldn't have done that if I had real hands."

"I don't like this." I shook my head. "This is wrong."

Victoria sighed. The doll began to nibble on the dead police officer's shoulder. Blood stained her blue cotton dress.

"No. I don't like this." I twisted around and tried to crawl off the blanket. "I don't like this. Make this stop. Make this stop."

Cold fingers grasped my shoulders. "It's all in your head, Bella."

I was alone. No Victoria. No Edward. No blanket and no dead cop.

Just me and an endless sea of white. I breathed and nothing happened. I closed my eyes, and nothing happened. I was still surrounded by white. It was quiet here.

I couldn't think here. There were no thoughts to be had. It was just nothing. Peaceful nothing.

I felt something hit my chest. Which was very weird because in the white, I didn't have a chest. I didn't have a body. There was nothing here.

Something hit my chest again.

I felt. . . angry. Something was trying to disturb the white.

Again, something hit my chest.

"Come on, Bella." A voice called frantically. No, not just a voice. Edward's voice. I looked around but Edward wasn't in the white with me. "Breath, dammit. Breath!"

I blinked and I was suddenly faced with a huge white dragon. It had amber colored eyes. Red spikes down its back. It's claws were the size of coffee tables. He turned his head to the side so that one eye was staring right at me.

I reached out to touched it's bumpy face. Its head reared back. It's jowls opened. Like a snake it's jaws popped out of socket to open wider. It breathed in and I felt myself being drawn in, like a magnet. A moment past and then I heard a spark deep in the dragon's throat. Fire rained down from its snout. I was engulfed in it, but the fire didn't burn. It felt like ice. The dragon breathed again. I braced myself for the icy fire and wasn't disappointed.

"That's it." Edward murmured. I tried to find him again, but he wasn't here.

I crawled closer to the dragon. It didn't seem to mind. I wasn't afraid of it. It couldn't hurt me. I leaned my back against its chest and felt it take in air and breath out fire. The fire sprayed above me and I watched it dance before the white swallowed it up. And the cycle started over again.

"That's it." Edward whispered. He patted my hair gently. I tried to look up at him, but I was just under the wing of the dragon.

I looked down and the victoria doll was sitting beside me. She picked up my wrist in her porcelain hands.

"I don't want to play." I stuttered. "No."

"Come on," The doll said in a nasally tone. "Just let me have one. You took everything from me, let me have your hand."

"Get off of me." I shook her away but she latched onto my forearm. "Get off! Get off!"

"I'm thinking of a number between one and five." She giggled while I flailed around.

"Stop. Stop. I don't want to play. Get off of me!" I couldn't shake Victoria off. Her teeth were clamped around my wrist.

I stood up and walked to the front of the dragon. I heard the spark in it's throat and held up the arm Victoria dangled from.

I didn't even blink as the dragon breathed fire onto me. Victoria screamed and her body fell away from me. The fire just bounced off of me, but it licked at the doll and consumed it. By the time the smoke turned back into white, a pile of ash laid at my feet.

"She's gone." Edward whispered. "She's gone."

I nodded. I didn't try to find him this time. I settled back into the chest of the dragon. I decided this was better than nothing. I didn't know what the dragon wanted, but it was here to help me. It wasn't trying to hurt me. It was a part of me.

I curled up under it's wing and closed my eyes. I still saw the white and the dragon breathing beside me.

"She only wanted to play." Edward crawled up towards me. His eyes were shiny black buttons. Fangs poked out from his lips. "You never listen to me. I told you not to go into the woods. I told you to keep running, but you stopped. This wouldn't have happened if you listened to me. It's all your fault."

"Get out." I hissed.

"I've been the only thing trying to keep you away from danger." He rose up into a crouch. "When you wanted to talk to those men in the street. Who stopped you? I did. When you lost control of the motorcycle, who told you to break? I did. When Laurant came into the clearing, who kept you calm? I did."

"You're not real." I shook her head. "You're nothing."

"I saved your life."

"You're not real." I repeated. "I created you."

"You need me."

I shook my head again. "No. I don't. I don't need you anymore."

Edward hissed and lunged at me. "I created you!" I shouted back and he was flung away as if I had knocked him down.

"If you created me, then that means I'm real." Edward got back up to his feet.

"No." I said. "It means I'm God." Edward started peel away. Layer by layer, back into the white. "I'm real." I said to myself. "You're nothing."

"How much longer?" A voice I didn't recognize asked. I blinked and the white space vanished. Four figures loomed in front of me.

"Another day, would be my best guess." Carlisle answered. "She should be lucid by now. I'm not sure what's wrong."

Carlisle?

"At least she's not screaming anymore." Alice hugged her knees together.

Alice.

"That's what bothers me." Carlisle scratched his chin. "Can you hear anything, Edward?"

"Still nothing. That hasn't changed." His voice came from above me. I could feel him breathing against my back. His arm was wrapped around me and I was tucked into his side. It felt. . . warm.

Oh. Feeling. I forgot that I didn't want that.

It was like I was doused in hellfire all over again. I squeezed Edward's hand. I didn't want to scream. I was tired of screaming. I liked the quiet. I was so sensitive to noise.

"Bella?" He adjusted so that he could peer into my face. "Carlisle, I think she's awake." I could feel his gaze on me.

"No." I shook my head, surprised that my voice could exist within the fire. "Not real."

I shoved his arms away from me and tried to find my feet. I stood on top of burning spikes. I fell over into a bed of burning embers. "Not real." I muttered and began crawling across the hot coal. I knew it was just wood flooring, but my body only knew how to feel fire. "Not real."

"Bella?" Edward called behind me. "I can explain. You have to believe me."

I shook my head. "Not real."

"Bella." He stepped around me and picked me up by my arms. "You're safe now."

"Liar." I spat. "You're a liar. I'm dying."

"You're changing." Edward said through clenched teeth.

"You're not real." I struggled out of his grasp and got to my knees. I screamed at the pain and fell over again.

"The pain is real, Bella." Alice chimed in. "Jesus, Edward. I told you. I told you she couldn't handle it. She's a wreck."

"We just have to explain it."

"No." I shook my head. "I don't trust you." Come on whitespace. Take me back. Take me back. "Get out of my head. You're not real." I screamed into the flooring.

"I don't understand." The voice I heard that took me away from the whitespace spoke up. I jerked to get a better look. A vampire, of course. But I'd never seen him before. He had a thick spanish accent. "She know's what's happening to herself, surely. You said she knew about our kind."

"I think Victoria messed with her head so much, she's confusing reality." Alice kneeled down by my head. I let her. "Bella. Can you hear me?"

I nodded reluctantly.

"This is Alice. Do you remember me?"

I nodded again. It was easier than speaking. Breathing hurt.

"We made a mistake. A terrible mistake that put you in danger. We didn't know. But that's no excuse for what we did."

"That's," I gasped. "Bullshit. You're just saying that because that's what I want to hear. God this fucking fire." I slammed my fist into the floor. I couldn't even feel it.

"I'm not sure how much you remember, but you ran away from Forks. Victoria found you and she, well, she bit you."

"Victoria." I hissed and I was surprised fire didn't come out of my mouth.

"Jasper and I pulled her out of the car and killed her. We were. . . too late, but we tried to get to you before she did. But Victoria is gone now. She's dead. You don't ever have to worry about her again."

I wanted to believe it. With so much heat coursing through me, I didn't fight it. I couldn't argue.

"You started driving away. That's when Edward jumped on the car. You were headed for a cliff. He pulled you out before the car crashed, but you were badly badly injured and the venom was already set on it's course. So Edward bit you again to speed the process up."

"Edward's not real." I groaned. I didn't have the energy to argue but I couldn't let her keep telling lies.

Alice sighed. "Edward. You need to talk to her."

I started to crawl away again. Edward sat cross legged in front of me, blocking me. "Bella. Bella?"

I ignored him and tried to crawl around him. His arms wrapped around me and held me to him. I jerked away. "You can't," I panted. "Hold me, if you're not real."

"If that's what you need to believe right now." He said sadly and his arms dropped to his side. "Bella, I'm sorry. I can never forgive myself for what happened. I don't expect you to either, but at least let me try to apologize."

"Get out of my head." I cringed. I didn't want to hear those words. I didn't want him to try to make me feel better. It was just sugar on top of a bowl of nails.

"I've never been able to get in your head, Bella." Edward sighed. "You know that."

"You left me." I spat. "You don't get to tell me anything." I found my hands somehow amidst the fire and sat up. "And you." I looked at Alice. "You left me too. You all did. But you didn't even say goodbye. You were my friend. You my best friend, but you couldn't even say goodbye."

"Oh, Bella." Alice cried. "I wanted to, but Edward-"

"Don't." I wouldn't allow her to make excuses. "He can't make you do anything. You left on your own. He's not your God. I loved you. And you left me for dead. You all did. You all did!" I screamed as the pain started pulling up into my chest.

"Shhh." Edward tried to comfort me. "The worst part is coming."

I thrashed his arm away. "I thought I was family. Family doesn't-" I couldn't breath. "Family doesn't-"

I closed my eyes and opened them back in the white space. I looked around me. I was alone again. Then I heard screaming in the distance. Someone was screaming but I didn't know who. It didn't matter. Not here. Not in the nothing.

I got bored in the nothing. The only thing to keep me company was the screaming. I kicked a rock I just imagined into existence and watched it skip across the white before evaporating into it. I wanted my dragon back. The screaming was starting to scare me. I wanted my dragon. The dragon would protect me.

As I thought it, it appeared in front of me. It breathed fire for me, as if I needed a signal. I tried to run to it, but my feet weren't working. I was suddenly not able to move fast enough, like I was walking through quicksand. Then the quicksand grew very very hot. It started to burn my feet. I tried to run faster, but the quicker I ran the slower I went. I stopped and let my feet catch on fire. It went away after a moment, the pain, but I realized that it was in my thighs now.

The dragon reared back and made a horrible sound, like it was calling for me. Like it was in distress. I had to get to it.

I started running again. I felt my heart beat faster and faster, but my legs moved slower and slower. Then my heart turned into a machine gun. I felt it thud along like a drum. Every beat was a loud violent bang. A bullet firing into the nothing. A hole in my body for every beat.

I was dying.

The dragon cried. My heart still kept beating faster and faster. I tried to run again, but my feet wouldn't move. They weren't trapped in sand. My feet was sand. My legs turned to sand. Then my lower back, my torso. I reached out my arm as if I could just touch the dragon everything would go back to normal. I wasn't sure what that meant, but my arms turned to sand in mid air. I was frozen. I couldn't move. Completely immovable like a statue. The white space started to peel away. Like a paper on fire. It curled up into black ash and what was left floated away. Bit by bit my world burned up. Even my white space wasn't safe from the fire. The dragon roared one last time.

And then my heart stopped.

And I opened my eyes.

This world was full of color. Brighter and full of contrasts. It was like the world before, only there wasn't pain. I was still lying crumpled on the floor. Why?

I got up and the movement was so fast I didn't realize I was standing until I saw my feet below me. "Oh." I gasped.

I turned around and saw that people were watching me. I only wanted to find the one.

He was watching me carefully from the corner. Concern dripped down his face. His bronze hair was more beautiful than I remember. Everything was better than I remember. I tried to peer inside what it was that I did remember, but it was like holding up a dusty heavy trunk lid.

"Edward." I said his name and my voice, wasn't my voice. It didn't used to be my voice, but it was now. I winced at the newness of it all.

"I'm here." He stepped forward.

I crouched into position. "Good. Because if you're really here, then I want to make sure to destroy you myself." I didn't have to think about it. Everything came so naturally. I lunged into the air to attack. Edward didn't move to protect himself. Didn't even throw his hands up. This would be easy.

But thick scar covered arms grabbed me out of the air and threw me down. Jasper hopped on top of me and hissed so terribly I wanted to sink into the earth. He pinned my arms to my side and I stared wildly up at him.

"No." He yelled like one would at a misbehaving dog.

Fear coursed through me and I whimpered.

"Jazz." Alice stepped towards us.

"Stay back." He warned. "She's unstable. Get Edward out of here." He looked back at me. His face wasn't unkind, but it was guarded. Protective. "You're name is Isabella Swan. You go by Bella. You have been bitten and transformed into a vampire. You will need to drink blood to survive. It helps with the pain in the throat. This is how it is now." He explained rationally. "You loved my brother Edward once. You may still. But you're mad at him and you have every right to be, but you can't attack him. You can't attack any of us. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"Do you understand?" He repeated himself.

"Yes." I said clearly.

"Good. I can show you how to hunt." Jasper jumped to his feet, but he didn't let go of my arms.

"I'm fine." I muttered.

"This is a precaution. You're unstable right now."

"I'm fine." I groaned. I felt the thirst in my throat for the first time. Soon, it was all I could think about. Appeasing that thirst.

"You won't attack me? You won't attack anyone else?"

I shook my head.

"Okay." He released my wrists. I followed him outside. Alice wanted to come, but Jasper wouldn't let her. Not until I proved to him that I was safe.

"You're wrong." He said quietly while we stalked a herd of deer. "About us. You're wrong."

"I don't care." I sighed.

"You should care. I know it's hard for you to process right now, but we do love you. We wouldn't have done what we did if we didn't love you. We thought we were doing what was best for you. We thought you were safer away from us."

I hissed.

"Just think about it." Jasper shrugged and I could feel him use his gift to calm me down. "I know you don't want to believe this, but Edward truly thought he could live without you. He thought you would be better off without him. He was wrong. He was absolutely wrong, but the second he heard that you were in danger he came running. I'm not trying to cover up the fact that what he did to you was awful, but he was just trying to do what he thought was right."

I couldn't argue with him. I just wanted blood.

"And I want to apologize as well. It was my fault that he even considered leaving. I. . . I attacked you. I wasn't strong enough. It's my fault. And I'm sorry, Bella." Jasper said it with such conviction, I almost felt sympathy, past my overwhelming blood lust. "I'm so, so sorry." He was being honest with me. I knew it.

"I forgive you." I nodded. "Fine. I forgive you, now please, show me how to hunt."

Jasper grinned. "Just do what I do." And we both lunged into the forest and sank our teeth into whatever mammal we could find. I wasn't a mighty white dragon. But a vampire was better than the nothing. I still wasn't sure if this was real, or if I was in some limbo. I feared that I would wake up at some point and hear the cars on the bypass overhead, but it never happened.

This was real. It took too long to convince myself of that. But eventually I was able to accept it.

My name is Bella Swan. And I'm a vampire.

My feelings about Edward were too warped and complicated for me to untie at first. It would take a long time to unpack the damage and separate out what was real and what mattered.

But time was something I had a lot of. And eventually I found the strength to stop running away from my problems. I didn't need someone else to look out for me. With time, I could trust myself again.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading. This was kind of a weird psychological roller coaster. Thanks for riding it with me.**

I know this kind of ended ubruptly. I've actually been working on my own novel and . . . through procrastination I wrote this instead. I may flesh out the ending a bit. Perhaps do an epilogue to button up the story a little better. I just knew I couldn't focus on it for much more and I wanted to give you guys a bookend so I wouldn't leave you hanging. I'd love your thoughts on this story. All comments welcome.

 **xoxo  
**

 **Rosalie**


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